Journal Entry, Day 4: Your Wife's Breast May Be A Ticking Time Bomb

Observations From The #Race4Prevention Tour
Journal Entry, Day 4, Sunday July 30, 2017

I have logged about 2,800 miles so far, about a third of the way. During the many hours on the road with Becky's ashes sitting next to me, I have had plenty of time to replay in my mind all the things I did wrong that had I done right, might have saved my wife. For example:

When Becky and I were married in 2009, I noticed that her left breast was slightly deformed. Nothing major, just not as perfect as her right breast.

Over the years, I never said anything to her about it. I thought it might embarrass her, or show disrespect.

When Becky was diagnosed in December of 2013 with stage IV metastatic breast cancer, it had all began with a small tumor in her left breast. She noticed a minute bump in the area in March of 2013, but never told anyone. Nine months later, that tumor had metastasized and spread to her spine, ribs, hips, sternum and was beginning to attack her liver.

Did I make a mistake by not asking Becky about the slight deformation in her left breast? I think so, yes.

We cannot go back. I would give anything to do so. If I knew then, what I know now, about breast cancer, I would have physically taken her to the doctor, whether she wanted to go or not. But, we cannot go back.

I tell this rather personal story about my wife and her breasts, to emphasize to all men, husbands and yes, boyfriends, that while your loved one's breasts can bring enjoyment, sexually, they can also be a ticking time bomb.

Most medical experts I have talked to think that spot on Becky's left breast that was slightly indented, was the very beginning of the cancer that would take her life. No one knows for sure it this is true, but at the end, her left breast was gone, consumed not by surgery, but by that tumor, in the exact location where I noticed the deformation in 2009. That sight, of what the cancer had done to my wife, haunts me daily.

Becky's mom and aunt both had breast cancer. Yet, knowing this, Becky never went for a check up. I mean never. In 55 years (before she got sick) she had never seen an oncologist.

Now, to me, a logical man, this seems unthinkable. But guess what, Becky was no different than a majority of women. I have talked to more women than I can count who have never seen an oncologist. Some, whose mother's have been taken by breast cancer. Still have never gone.

So, the point of my post? If you are going to play with your wife/girlfriend's breasts, make sure you check them for lumps as well. Not romantic? Well, if you don't, then those breasts you love so much may get gone, either surgically or consumed in a horrible fashion by the disease. 

If you notice something not right about either breast, SPEAK UP! If I had, Becky would be here today.